


The Personally Victimized by Cindy Sanders Club: Quarantine Edition

by asexualjuliet



Series: Freaks & Geeks Modern AU [6]
Category: Freaks and Geeks
Genre: Aro/Ace Lindsay Weir, Asexual Sam Weir, Avatar: The Last Airbender References, Bi Vicki Appleby, Dead Poets Society references, Gratuitous Swearing, Gravity Falls References, Harry Potter References, Lesbian Maureen Sampson, Mean Girls References, Modern AU, Parks and Rec references, Quarantine, Rent References, Sam Weir deserves the world, Sam and Lindsay are ace solidarity, Stand by me references, Stranger Things references, chatfic, gratuitous pop culture references, i spend the entire time bashing Cindy Sanders, wtnv references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26666581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexualjuliet/pseuds/asexualjuliet
Summary: maureen: i am so bored. i am so bored. i am so fucking bored.maureen: i’m going to lose my fucking shitsam: mauren its okayvicki: “mauren”sam: i am trying my best!!Or, the long-awaited sequel to The Personally Victimized by Cindy Sanders Club
Relationships: Daniel Desario & Lindsay Weir, Daniel Desario & Sam Weir, Kim Kelly & Lindsay Weir, Lindsay Weir & Sam Weir, Maureen Sampson & Sam Weir, Sam Weir & Kim Kelly, Vicki Appleby & Sam Weir, Vicki Appleby/Maureen Sampson
Series: Freaks & Geeks Modern AU [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588621
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	The Personally Victimized by Cindy Sanders Club: Quarantine Edition

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting in my google docs since the beginning of quarantine, and I was gonna stop and post it when quarantine ended, but that’s become wishful thinking, and I finally finished it yesterday.
> 
> Probably extremely OOC, but i had fun with it lmao
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** i am so bored. i am so bored. i am so fucking bored. 

**maureen:** i’m going to lose my fucking shit 

**sam:** mauren its okay

**vicki:** “mauren”

**sam:** i am trying my best!!

**vicki:** sam we know and we love you for it

**maureen:** i am seconds away from going fucking apeshit

**vicki:** i’d say you can come over but,,,

**maureen:** :((((

**maureen:** i fuckingn MISS YOU

**vicki:** you too girl <3

**maureen:** i want to hold your goddamn HAND

**sam:** no pda in the groupchat

**maureen:** screw you i do what i want!!

**maureen:** now i am going to go watch hallmark christmas movies and think about bread!!

**maureen:** goodbye all

**vicki:** love you babe

**maureen:** :D

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**sam:** cindy sanders stop posting on instagram challenge!!

**maureen:** lmaooo

**vicki:** she blocked me but big mood

-

**_neal schweiber_ ** _ to  _ **_geek squad_ **

**neal:** i am going to LOSE my FUCKING SHIT

**neal:** barry doesn’t come home till tomorrow and honestly??? i don’t know if i can survive in this house for that long

**neal:** love when my parents act like my dad hasn’t been cheating on my mom for literal years :))))

**neal:** tbh i think we’d all be happier if they got a divorce but they’re both too damn stubborn and now i’m stuck in hell indefinitely

**sam:** sorry that sucks :(

**sam:** barry’s always cool though

**neal:** straight-up might run away to live in the woods lmao

**neal:** who wants to go on a stand by me-esque adventure where we walk through the woods and almost get hit by a train

**sam:** neal :(((

**neal:** i said almost dumbass it’s okay

**bill:** we’re not allowed to leave our houses

**neal:** oh shit

**neal:** i am so stupid holy shit

**sam:** lmao

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_lindsay weir_ **

**sam:** just btw barry is in town

**sam:** well not yet but he’ll be here tomorrow

**lindsay:** fuck

**lindsay:** really not ready to have the aro discussion with another guy

**sam:** you won’t actually have to see him

**sam:** cause we’re not supposed to leave our houses

**sam:** and it went well with nick right?

**lindsay:** nick’s a dumbass and all he said when i texted him was “im very stoned and. i dont understand what your saying but ill reed this text again later”

**sam:** damn

**sam:** barry’s cool tho

**lindsay:** yeah i guess

**sam:** good luck

-

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**vicki:** hey 

**vicki:** are you watching gravity falls right now

**sam:** yes wtf

**sam:** how did you know that

**vicki:** i’m stalking you through your front window lmao

**vicki:** the inconveniencing is one of my favorite episodes!

**sam:** holy shit you scared me 

**sam:** i’ll put subtitles on for you hold on

**vicki:** you’re the only thing holding this country together

**sam:** big sis 🥺

**vicki:** little bro <3

**vicki:** GOD it’s stanning wendy corduroy hours

**vicki:** thats my WIFE

**sam:** im telling maureen!

**vicki:** screw you

**vicki:** i’m kidding omg i would NEVER

**sam:** me neither lmao

**_lindsay weir_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**lindsay:** is vicki appleby drinking root beer in a lawn chair in our front yard

**sam:** yeah she brought cheezits too

**lindsay:** it was a rhetorical question she just scared the SHIT out of me when I went to take out the trash

**sam:** lol

**sam:** [1 JPG file. Image Description: A selfie of Sam in front of a window, through which Vicki is visible. She is sitting in a pink lawn chair wearing sunglasses and sipping a can of root beer with a large box of cheez-its beside her.]

**lindsay:** dare i say icon

**_millie kentner_ ** _ to  _ **_lindsay weir_ **

**millie:** is vicki appleby in your front yard?

**lindsay:** yeah lol

**lindsay:** she’s sam’s friend, she’s watching gravity falls through the front window

**millie:** oh haha

**millie:** stay safe!! <3

**lindsay:** u too mills <3

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** fuck zoom calls omg

**vicki:** mood

**vicki:** kowchevski won’t stop talking 

**maureen:** lacovara doesn’t know how the fuck to use a computer

**sam:** cindy looks like she did her hair & makeup for this call

**maureen:** FACTS lmao

**maureen:** meanwhile i look like i climbed out of a dumpster 😘✌️

**vicki:** nooo!!

**sam:** she’s in her pajamas lol

**maureen:** wasn’t gonna put my camera on but cindy looked like she thought she was better than me

**vicki:** mood

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_vicki appleby_ **

**sam:** [1 JPG file. Image Description: a screenshot of a zoom call. The square circled in red shows Maureen in an old pajama shirt with a picture of a teddy bear on it]

**vicki:** FUCK i’m so gay

**sam:** lmao

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** jddjkxolab

**maureen:** mean girls is on mtv and i had to watch because i’m gay as fuck for janis right

**maureen:** and they fucking CENSORED the word GAY

**vicki:** lmaooo

**maureen:** i’m laughing so hard omg

**sam:** “this is damian. he’s too [redacted] to function.”

**vicki:** difjjdisksks SAM

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** FUCK

**maureen:** [1 JPG file. Image Description: a photo of Maureen with her hair newly cut, only going down to her shoulders]

**maureen:** it's happened folks. i’ve lost my fucking shit and cut my own hair

**sam:** you look so pretty!!

**vicki:** hddjxkksnsbdisoapa

**vicki:** HXJXJAKABDHCKFODBSK

**vicki:** THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND 😘🥰✨💗💕🥰😍

**vicki:** IM SO GAY. DHDJSJXNDBFJ

**maureen:** i miss your faceeee

**vicki:** [1 JPG file. Image Description: a photo of Vicki sticking her tongue out at the camera.]

**maureen:** 🥺🥺🥺

**sam:** [1 JPG file. Image Description: a photo of Sam giving a peace sign to the camera]

**sam:** i just wanna be a part of things

**vicki:** lmaoo

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**sam:** my dad just told me to sit normal and i had to physically restrain myself from following through on my first instinct, which was to scream “NO! i’m GAY” despite me not being gay

**maureen:** big fucking mood

**vicki:** lmao

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** speaking of gays sitting wrong in chairs

**maureen:** i just fell out of my fucking chair in front of my entire french class

**vicki:** MOOD

**_neal schweiber_ ** _ to  _ **_maureen sampson_ **

**neal:** you falling out of your chair was funny as fuck but you do know Ms K is filming today’s class because Cindy couldn’t come today right

**maureen:** FUCK

**neal:** mood

**maureen:** goddamnit cindy

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER IS ON NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL

**vicki:** i’ve never seen it

**sam:** that's rough buddy

**maureen:** shdhjska sam

**vicki:** should i watch y/n

**maureen:** FUCK YEAH YOU SHOULD!!

**sam:** do it do it do it!!

**vicki:** dhdhsjks ok i will

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**maureen:** watching atla… feelin emo

**maureen:** anyway zuko is gay no i will not elaborate

**maureen:** i’m gay and i like him. also i think he deserves it

**sam:** he’s dating sokka

**maureen:** yeah he is bitch!!!

**sam:** also

**sam:** toph could kill god

**maureen:** correct takes only from MY best friend!

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** dhdhdjjskskskaksjcjcks

**vicki:** dhdjdjiciswbdjcoa

**vicki:** djdjxikswnnsmslala

**vicki:** why the FUCK

**vicki:** didn’t you warn me

**vicki:** that i would develop a crush on a cartoon character fhdjskxoockcksnala

**maureen:** bruh how far are you

**maureen:** doesn’t zuko still have that ugly ass ponytail

**vicki:** not zuko he’s ugly asf 

**vicki:** dhdjskskals its fucking. sokka holy shit

**sam:** lmao

**vicki:** he’s fuckingh CUTE ok

**maureen:** valid but a little too heterosexual for my taste

**vicki:** we're literally dating

**sam:** maureen: haha babe you’re straight that’s embarrassing

vicki: *april ludgate voice* we’re dating

maureen: *andy dwyer voice* still!

**vicki:** that’s the exact energy i tried to go for thank you so much

**vicki:** anyway it's time for me to talk to sam about tv and this time maureen gets to feel left out!

**maureen:** babe… D:

**vicki:** i still love you babe <3

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**vicki:** opinions on april ludgate & andy dwyer

**sam:** deserve the whole world

**vicki:** valid

**sam:** also ben wyatt is bisexual

**vicki:** VALID

-

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** stayed up all night and finished season one and bitches?? i’m fuckin HOOKED

**vicki:** also baby zuko was baby??? who the FUCK would burn half his fucking face off zuko baby i’m so sorry

**maureen:** valid

**sam:** valid

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_daniel desario_ **

**sam:** hey just a heads up lindsay says if you don’t start social distancing she’s gonna kick your ass from a safe distance

**sam:** “i know he thinks he’s too cool for fucking school but i won’t feel sorry for him when he dies of covid”

**daniel:** damn

**daniel:** but we are actually

**daniel:** nick and i would rather die than be in our houses for more than ten hours at a time and ken’s parents were off in paris when the quarantine started and they don’t care enough to come back so we’re all living in ken’s house & eating junk food and playing video games instead of going outside like dumbasses

**sam:** sounds like you’re living the life

**daniel:** hell yeah

**sam:** nice

**sam:** well i gotta go tell lindsay you’re not actually breaking the rules before she vaguely calls you out in her instagram story

**daniel:** lmao

**sam:** it’s too late. you’ve been called out

**daniel:** damn

**_ladyl_ ** _ updated their instagram story. [Image Description: a black screen with the words “anyway if you aren’t social distancing i WILL kick your ass from an appropriate distance”] _

**carlosthedwarf** responded to **ladyl** ’s story

**carlosthedwarf:** damn

**carlosthedwarf:** i mean go off i guess but nick ken and i have not left the house since march

**carlosthedwarf:** we’re living at ken’s house btw

**ladyl:** nowhere did i say that post was about you

**carlosthedwarf:** “hey just a heads up lindsay says if you don’t start social distancing she’s gonna kick your ass from a safe distance”

**ladyl:** dhdjsk sam

**carlosthedwarf:** “i know he thinks he’s too cool for fucking school but i won’t feel sorry for him when he dies of covid”

**ladyl:** DHDJSJSKSKXKXO SAM

**ladyl:** fUCK i’M SORRY

**carlosthedwarf:** lmao

**_lindsay weir_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**lindsay:** [1 JPG file. Image Description: A screenshot of the above exchange between Lindsay Weir and Daniel Desario]

**lindsay:** sAMDJDJDKKSKS

**sam:** my bad?

**lindsay:** dusjkalalsjdhjdal

-

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** djdjvidkksnxksa

**vicki:** fjjcidksksnxkslavhxixosw

**vicki:** dhdhjDJSJKSLASBPA

**maureen:** what the fuck did your dumb bisexual ass get herself into this time

**vicki:** fucking

**vicki:** SOKKA

**vicki:** he has his fucking hair down holy FUCK

**sam:** lmaooo

-

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_lindsay weir_ **

**kim:** what are the chances of me being able to live in your garage for the foreseeable future

**lindsay:** uhhh slim to none

**lindsay:** we have mice living in our garage

**kim:** fjjfkdks fuck

**lindsay:** we have a basement?

**lindsay:** it’s cold all the time and you’d have to sleep on an old couch but it’s better than nothing ig

**kim:** i mean i can stay home but my mom is driving me fucking insane

**kim:** chances of your folks letting me crash is pretty low huh

**lindsay:** i mean no one ever uses the basement

**lindsay:** you could just like

**lindsay:** live there without my parents knowing

**kim:** lmao are you serious

**lindsay:** hell yeah

**kim:** NICE

**lindsay:** gonna have to tell sam tho

**kim:** holy fuck we’re doing this thing

**_lindsay weir_ ** _ added  _ **_kim kelly_ ** _ and  _ **_sam weir_ ** _ to a groupchat _

**lindsay:** sam what are the chances of you helping us sneak kim into our basement so she can live there without mom and dad knowing

**sam:** pretty high if you’re actually serious

**sam:** are we pulling a stranger things season 1?

**kim:** sorry i don’t speak geek

**lindsay:** bullshit!!

**lindsay:** we watched the entirety of stranger things season one on your phone in gym checkMATE

**kim:** fuck

**lindsay:** you said on multiple occasions that you would bang steve harrington if given the opportunity

**kim:** i did say that lmao

**sam:** lindsay right in front of my salad??

**kim:** lmao you’re such a baby

**sam:** i’m asexual so shut the fuck up!

**kim:** oh shit sorry

**sam:** so what’s the plan

**lindsay:** uhhhhhh

**kim:** bold of you to assume we have a plan

**sam:** does that mean “sam please come up with a plan”

**lindsay:** …

**kim:** yes lmao

**sam:** yeah okay

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**kim:** djdjjsska fuck 

**kim:** you know i hate apologizing but sorry for calling you a baby

**sam:** i am a baby

**sam:** I am just a small creature… i cannot change this

**kim:** yeah but i was a bitch about it

**kim:** so my bad

**kim:** i knew lindsay was ace but i didn’t know you were too

**sam:** oh 

**sam:** well i am! that’s me

**kim:** god you’re gonna make me soft

**sam:** :D

**kim:** oH my god you’re doing it already

-

**_loganthehuge@gmail.com_** _shared_ ** _“protocol: operation kim”_** _with_ ** _lindsayrweir@gmail.com_** _and_ ** _kimk529@gmail.com_**

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_kim kelly_ ** _ and  _ **_lindsay weir_ **

**sam:** ok so i’m thinking we sneak kim in tomorrow through the bulkhead

**sam:** lindsay you can put some food outside for kim when you get the mail 

**sam:** uhhhh there’s a closet in the basement that you can hide in in the small possibility that mom or dad comes downstairs

**sam:** just in case keep your clothes and stuff in the closet too it’s pretty empty except for some old legos and stuff so there’s a lot of room and there’s also nothing in there mom and dad would come down specifically to get

**sam:** if you have any questions confront the protocol i have emailed both of you

**lindsay:** sam why did you send those all as separate texts my phone just went off five times 

**sam:** if i sent it all as one kim wouldn’t bother to read the whole thing

**kim:** djdkskalla fuck he’s right

**sam:** ok so commence operation kim at 1200 hours tomorrow

**kim:** you’re such a fucking geek omg

**sam:** i’m a geek who’s finding you a place to stay indefinitely

**sam:** you love me

**kim:** i do lmao

**_sam weir_ ** _ named the groupchat _ **_operation kim_ **

-

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** FUCK

**vicki:** fucking FUCK

**maureen:** mood wtf did you do

**vicki:** leaves from the FUCKING VINE

**sam:** oh mood

**vicki:** iroh has me fucking SOBBING in this chilis tonight

**vicki:** [One JPG file. Image description: A photo of Vicki, on a couch in a badly lighted room with tears on her face]

**maureen:** i’ve never seen you cry before and the first time i do it’s over leaves from the vine lmao

**maureen:** valid tbh

**vicki:** me fifteen minutes ago: oh this is cute! toph and katara are bonding! sokka’s writing shitty haikus! zuko has a date!

me now: wait FUCK GO BACK

**sam:** mood!! big mood!! big big mood!!

**vicki:** also zuko is Such a fucking dumbass like “a girl??? liking me?? unrealistic. she must be a fire nation spy.”

**sam:** its because he’s gay

**maureen:** fuck yeah he is!!

**vicki:** lmao

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**kim:** *hacker voice* i’m in

**sam:** operation kim has been a success!

**kim:** lindsay thank you for the entire box of cheezits 🥺🥺🥺

**lindsay:** <3

**sam:** ok so you’re just gonna

**sam:** live down there i guess???

**sam:** have fun!

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** HOT TAKE

**maureen:** fuck snape

**maureen:** would anyone else like to share a hot take

**vicki:** fuck jk rowling

**maureen:** yes good!

**vicki:** the quidditch girls from books 1-5 are all dating

**maureen:** FINALLY some good fucking FOOD

**sam:** frogs r good

**maureen:** my man cornflake is a little confused but he got the spirit!!

**vicki:** lmao

**sam:** wait!!! i have more hot takes

**sam:** “ace discourse” ruined the asexual community both online and irl and subsequently ruined my confidence in my identity by making me fucking terrified to come out because I didn’t know whether people would see me as too queer or too straight or just a baby who’s scared of sex :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

**vicki:** the tea is fucking scalding and i would die for you you funky little asexual

**maureen:** go OFF sam ily <3

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**sam:** MOM IS GOING DOWNSTAIRS

**lindsay:** SHIT

**sam:** initiate protocol a!!

**kim:** fuckin nerd

**sam:** FUCKING INITIATE IT KIM

**kim:** ok me and all my shit are in the closet

**kim:** _ [One JPG file. Image Description: a photo of Kim, barely visible in a dark room, flashing a peace sign to the camera] _

**sam:** turn your phone on do not disturb

**kim:** that’s part of the protocol i did it already

**sam: 🥺🥺🥺** she read the protocol

**kim:** of course i did you geek ass nerd

**sam:** :D

**lindsay:** ok she’s back upstairs

**kim:** might just fuck around and never come out of this closet

**sam:** big mood big mood big mood

**lindsay:** lmao

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** maureen johnson from rent 🤝 me 🤝 intern maureen from wtnv: being lesbians named maureen

**maureen:** we’ve claimed the name maureen for the gays. if you’re gay your name is maureen

**maureen:** wait SHIT

**maureen:** if your name is maureen then you’re gay

**maureen:** that’s what i meant to say

**maureen:** fuck

**vicki:** lmaooo

**sam:** i don’t know what wtnv is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask!!

**vicki:** same lmao

**maureen:** oh oops

**maureen:** welcome to night vale

**maureen:** it’s this weird ass podcast

**maureen:** uhhhhh vicki go listen to it sam you’d just be like “what the fuck wHat the fuCk What The Fuck”

**sam:** you know me so well 🥺

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_maureen sampson_ **

**vicki:** not to be my certified dumb bitch self but why the fuck aren’t dogs allowed in the dog park

**maureen:** the dog park is for HOODED FIGURES ONLY

**vicki:** obviously

-

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**sam:** if cindy posts one more obviously staged photoshoot of her and mona but mostly just her at the beach with a caption like “good times, tan lines ☀️” I’m gonna lose my shit

**sam:** WHY did I ever date her holy shit

**vicki:** lmaoooo

**maureen:** cindy was a mistake lmao

**maureen:** you usually have better taste though i think

**sam:** maureen the only other girl i’ve gone on a date with is you

**maureen:** djdksklala

**vicki:** WHAT

**vicki:** wait holy shit how did i not know this??

**sam:** it was one date!!!

**maureen:** it barely counted

**maureen:** i didn’t know it was a date lmaooo

**sam:** ok just some background for before maureen starts embarrassing me with my past actions

**sam:** my dumb ass thought it was a good idea to take dating advice from daniel desario

**vicki:** sam what the fuck did you do

**maureen:** he awkwardly called me up like a gentleman and asked if i wanted to go see to kill a mockingbird at the drive in 

**vicki:** aww sam

**maureen:** he drove me there in daniel’s car, breaking his first law in the process (he only had his permit)

**sam:** maureen stop i still feel guilty about it!!

**maureen:** lmao

**maureen:** and so we’re just fucking talking about normal shit 

**maureen:** and this dumbass

**sam:** djskskdkjfjdal maureen

**maureen:** fucking KISSES ME

**sam:** djdjskalsl maureeennnnn

**vicki:** HDJDKSKSLALFKVKCKSKLA SAM HOLY SHIT

**sam:** i tried!!! i did!!! i really did!!!

**sam:** for what it’s worth the first thing maureen did was pull away from me and go “holy SHIT”

**vicki:** lmaooo

**maureen:** my bad but like

**maureen:** there was a boy kissing me??? and i do not care for that shit at all. 

**maureen:** anyway sam almost cried and then i told him i was gay and then he very awkwardly apologized for kissing me before insisting he buy the food for the movie if i still wanted to watch and then spilling his root beer float all over the windshield of desario’s car

**sam:** i did. that’s accurate but you didn’t have to call me out like that. 

**vicki:** thats funny as fuck omg

**sam:** still better than any date i went on with cindy!!

**maureen:** lmaooo

**maureen:** did i ever tell you guys why cindy blocked me on insta

**vicki:** no spill the tea!!

**sam:** wtf did you do

**maureen:** remember when she posted that cringy ass depressed black screen snapchat after sam broke up with her that said like “i think i liked the idea of you more…”

**vicki:** djdjskalsl i forgot about that

**sam:** oh lmao i dont have snapchat but neal told me about that

**maureen:** yeah so i texted back “op literally treated sam weir, the sweetest boy i’ve ever met, like a piece of shit but go off i guess”

**vicki:** ICONIC

**sam:** aww maureen 🥺🥺🥺

**maureen:** and she responds “blcoked”

**maureen:** so i said “not if i blcok you first” and blocked her lmaoo

**vicki:** fucking iconic

**sam:** maureen i love you

**maureen:** i fought for your honor sam 

**sam: 🥺🥺🥺🥺** that's my best friend

-

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**kim:** holy FUCK who left me a fruit roll up?!!

**sam:** :D

**kim:** i owe you my entire fucking life

**lindsay:** lmao

-

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** dhdjskDHSJJXIVJDNSKa

**vicki** i’m losing my FUCKING SHIT

**vicki:** “hi, zuko here! :)”

**vicki:** sjjsksksksjcjcks

**maureen:** that’s babey!!

**vicki:** him…

-

**_maureen sampson_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**maureen:** might fuck around and watch dead poets society on a loop until either quarantine ends or my mom notices the gay subtext

**maureen:** both of which will never happen

**vicki:** lmaooo

**vicki:** neil looks at todd like he hung the fucking moon holy shit 

**sam:** valid

-

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**kim:** VIBE CHECK *spills orange soda on your white basement carpet*

**lindsay:** you fucking didn’t

**kim:** from the bottom of my heart

**kim:** my bad

**sam:** just wash it real quick

**sam:** if it doesn’t come out we have stain remover that worked when bill spilled cherry popsicle on that same rug so either way it’ll be fine

**sam:** more importantly

**sam:** what kind of orange soda

**kim:** it’s fanta, bitch!

**sam: 👀👀👀**

**kim:** yes you can have some you manipulative dumbass

**lindsay:** he didn’t even manipulate you he just sent the eyes emoji

**kim:** he was GOING TO OKAY

**sam:** i didn’t have to

**kim:** fuck you

**kim:** ok the carprt is fine

**lindsay:** “carprt”

**sam:** “carprt”

**kim:** fuck you

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_sam weir_ **

**kim:** look outside your window

**sam:** kim it is two in the morning

**kim:** on the ground

**sam: 😱😱😱**

**sam:** i didn’t ask for that much soda!

**kim:** i know but i had a shit ton and you’re making me soft

**kim:** so screw you and enjoy the fanta

**sam:** thank you so much but why did you do it at 2am

**kim:** under cover of darkness or some shit

**kim:** that was in the protocol right?

**sam:** you read the protocol 🥺🥺🥺

**kim:** you know i did you geek ass nerd

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**kim:** might fuck around and get lost in the woods then die of hypothermia

**lindsay:** it’s august

**sam:** obviously she would get so lost that she’d still be in the woods for the winter

**sam:** then she’d die of hypothermia

**kim:** exACTLY

**kim:** sam you're the only bitch in this house i ever respected

**sam:** right back at you

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** oh fuck………… oh holy shit……… i’m……….. holy fuck

**vicki:** anyway i finished avatar and i’m an emotional wreck ✌️

**maureen:** lmaoooo

**sam:** mood

**vicki:** fire lord zuko………. iroh and his tea shop……… sokka drawing them all…….. the peak of soft.

**sam:** i approve this message!!

**_vicki appleby_ ** _ to  _ **_the personally victimized by cindy sanders club_ **

**vicki:** yes i AM a triple threat: bisexual, bilingual, and also a bitch!

**vicki:** the three bi’s ✌️

**sam:** you’re not a bitch!!!!!

**maureen:** holy shit you’re bilingual?

**vicki:** you’ve been dating my hispanic ass for five months you dumb bitch

**sam:** maureen have you not heard her speak spanish with her grandma?

**maureen:** no??? wtf what grandma

**vicki:** holy shit you’ve never met my grandma

**sam:** i would sell my kneecaps for abuela garcia

**vicki:** she would never let you do that

**sam:** god you're so right

-

**_kim kelly_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**kim:** we’ve got a fucking code red here folks

**sam:** SHIT

**lindsay:** i don't know what that means

**kim:** i’ve been discovered

**lindsay:** oh SHIT

**_jean weir_ ** _ to  _ **_lindsay weir_ **

**jean:** What is Kim doing in our basement?

**lindsay:** she needed a place to stay??

**jean:** And you didn’t ask us if she could stay here?

**lindsay:** can she stay here

**jean:** I think you’ve taken that decision out of my hands, dear. 

**lindsay:** meaning?

**jean:** Yes, she can stay. Please ask next time. 

**lindsay:** thank you thank you thank you i love you <3

-

**_kimkelly__ ** _ mentioned  _ **_ladyl_ ** _ and  _ **_loganthehuge_ ** _ in their instagram story.  _

_ [Image description: A selfie of Kim, Lindsay, and Sam. Kim is in between Sam and Lindsay, sticking out her tongue. Lindsay is to Kim’s right, flashing a peace sign at the camera, and Sam is waving from Kim’s left. Text over the photo reads: “thanks to my two favorite people for providing me free shelter & fruit roll ups <3 sorry for spilling fanta on your carpet”] _

**_sam weir_ ** _ to  _ **_operation kim_ **

**sam:** this concludes operation kim. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> All mistakes are my own, please let me know if you see any!
> 
> Kudos/Comments are greatly appreciated!


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